2019, I will be good to you.
There have been innumerable posts, photos and captions saying that 2019, please be good or Hello June, please be good to me and things like that. While the intention there is hoping that the mentioned period of time will go well for you, to me it seems like after we start believing this line, we surrender ourselves to the circumstances. We simply let happen, what happens.
Is that really working?
By surrendering our self to our fate we adopt an external locus of control (In personality psychology, locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives- – originated by Julian Rotter). We end up denying or avoiding the responsibility of our own actions. We don’t look at our lives as something WE can shape ourselves.
If we try to dissect our lives and look at all the things that can actually change or improve if we want them to; we’ll realise that there are many such things that we have simply overlooked so far because they have been hiding behind this external locus. That is simply not true. We are responsible for a considerable part of the outcome of our lives, and from individual to individual, this percentage will obviously vary but will still be a majority than a minority.
What can we do for developing an internal locus of control?
- Taking responsibility for our own actions
We can shape our lives if we want to. We all know what we want from our lives. So taking some steps in that direction and taking the necessary actions is in our hands. We can start to take responsibility for these actions. We can start to frame our actions such that our responsibility towards them can be maintained.
- Mind over mood
Sometimes a sour mood or a bad phase in life really kicks in the feeling of external blame. We tend to give up and externalise our locus of control. At such times it’s healthy to start minding your mood. Practice controlling your mood with your mind. We often tend to drown deep in our moods and then it’s hard to resurface (I know it’s hard, I personally struggle with this a lot! But it’s doable). A mind that can control that is an effective way to address this issue.
- Defining your attitude towards your life
A good way to internalise our locus of control is to have a good attitude towards our life. Who doesn’t love a sunny, positive person? And how do you think these people become what they are? It’s all about the attitude. If you think you can do it, you really can. You have it in you, my friend.
- Working towards the visualisation
Once you’ve got a clear attitude about your life, you can start to visualise how you want it to be. And once you know that, you can start working towards it. For example, Save Ourselves has been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I have a vision for it to grow into a supportive community and have it become a safe-place. Now that I have my vision in place, I can start working towards it. It’ll probably take A VERY LONG for my dream to turn into a reality but I have my attitude and vision in place. And I am starting to take the right steps for it.
You can do this too. You’re so capable and deserving of your dream. You can start to work on it if you decide to.
So it’s really not up to 2019 to turn out well for you, it’s up to you to make your 2019 well.
I hope that this post encourages you to get the year started in the way you want it to. Sending you all the love and support from this side.
Save Ourselves is coming up with a lot of new posts and ideas for 2019. It needs your support and encouragement to keep growing the way it has.
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2 thoughts on “Getting the year started!”
Great Insights, time to start working on my internal locus of control.
Haha yes, thank you so much Pranay !